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I shall be released

I've lost a friend. Or whatever he is. Mostly I've lost a presence. I've lost myself a bit too I think. I guess I'll post here more often, since I can't talk to him anymore. Or so little. I know it's over, I know he'll say goodbye soon.

I can't be someone else's concience, fuck that. I just wish he was able to talk to me. I'm afraid he'll just fade away, or disapear suddendly. I've become dependent, it's so pathetic, I can't believe how weak I've been.

It's a matter of days I know. There's this nice letter waiting, not too long, just nice. Just a few words I'd like to say before he vanishes from my life. I'll never send it. Weak, weak. Weeeeeeeeeak. Maybe I'm just freakin out... But I don't think so. The silence. It's killing me.

Tonight is the end of everything. The man in my life has lost something that was important to him, and I'm losing someone that probably has become too important to me. I'm not ready, I don't want to see him go :( I'll wait and see.