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Tomorrow being turkey day and all my suppliers being down south, I will take the day off. I'll go shopping for a dress for the company's Christmas party. I feel like getting something totally outrageous, but not trashy. I want to be the star :) well, might not happen, but I can always fool myself for a minute here. There'll be around 500 people there. Lots of competition!

I don't like parties, I never know what to do except drink and smoke. Dance a little bit once I had a few drinks and meet everyone's wife/husband. I don't care, ok? I won't see them until next year anyway. I see these people year round, why would alchool and a nice suit make them more interesting? Sometimes I think I'm totally anti social, or hanging on the fringes of sociopathy. It could be that I'm in the wrong crowd too, I don't know.

But I have to make a conscious effort to be nice most of the time to the people I work with. I have no interest in their personal lives or problems. I hate it when someone is talking about their relationship or their problems with their kids. I don't want to know unless we're friends. It's just too much information. And how about their interests and hobbies? Nope, no interest there either. One quilts, knits, does tai chi and paints wood boxes. Another spends all her time at the casino or bingo.

There are 6 people in my department. None of the others have read a book in the 2 years I've been there. None!!! Music? Movies? Theater? Politics? I make suggestions, bring CD's, lend them DVD's... There is just nothing at all going on here. My work day is working like a growing desert in my mind. I'm drying. Scared, alone, isolated.

So a whole day shopping should bring me back to human form :)