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Baggage claim

-You're doing it again?

-Yes, but on my own terms this time.


What does "on my own terms" mean when I don't have a fucking clue what it is I'm looking for? How to get it? How to use it?

I go for the dark, the complicated and of course the unattainable. Because there is comfort in the security of assured failure. Uncertain succes does not apply to 'my own terms'.

I go for the dark, the complicated and of course the unattainable. Because isn't this what I know best? Doesn't it leave me without obligations, consequences, responsability?

Will I ever believe it? If I tell myself often enough, will I ever accept this as truth?

That everything that I am right now I want to embrace. That my arms aren't wide enough to take me all in. I do not want to reject anything that I am anymore. But I can't handle it yet.

Some things about ourselves we will always loath, always despise. And no matter how hard we work on them, they just won't go away.

These things I want to learn to accept. I want to love.

On my own terms. 


face_like_a_thunder_cloud said…
i feel ya:)
FrenzY said…

Miss tu bagage. Like faire pour toi bagage vers tes ailes à toi. Dans tes termes à toi. Tu reine dessineras ces coeur en marge un jour.

We rock you xx
Chris said…
You may not be up for the battle of self acceptance yet, but when you are ready to start, go get the book "Six Pillars of Self-Esteem". Section II is about self-acceptance. Accepting doesn't necessarily mean liking.

This entry was very deep and reminded me of myself when I was younger.

Thinking of you

My Blog
DAVE said…
Stop looking just leap. Want change? Execute now, not later, not when you're ready, NOW! Focus, focus on everything, every litlle detail of your life, in real-time as it is happening and then deconstruct it until there's nothing left but truth.

There are myriad ways to climb a mountain, but at the top there is only one view.

This moment of Zen was brought to you by The End of Dave, now on browsers nation wide :)
swan_pr said…
face: yeah... parallels :)

frenzY: un jour. un m'ment donné. j'attend au caroussel. ta voix dans le speaker :) xx

chris: I always read with great interest your work with the stems. great inspiration, motivation. thank you for being there.

dave: you should have an MSN bot. I'd get my daily fix. but you are so right. now. it's the best time. I'm on the verge. thank you, thank you.
DAVE said…
I do my best :D
FrenzY said…
Et je vais speaker what m'dame ?
Perrasite said…
'a va speaker sa corde de bois rond pis jouer avec avant d'y mettre le feu. That's good enough fo'me.