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Ramblings

I just don't see the point of doing anything. Whatever I do, I seem to be taking the wrong steps. I feel like I'm the end of my rope right now. Again.

I'm mostly pissed off about what I write. I'm whinny. I'm negative. I'm lonely. I'm nothing. Fuck. (yeah, that sounds like a great idea)

As I have written not long ago, I can't seem to dig, to understand, to grasp my shit. Zen Master, you are helping of course... I think I just need to stop, breath, and jump. Just do something for christ's sake. If I can't see straight it's because I've dug deep enough. And no amount of procrastination will replace action. Every day something happens that tells me I should. I somehow chose to ignore all the signs and stagnate. Smell my own stink. And enjoy it.

On a lighter note, I'm going back to the gym starting tomorrow. I was fairly active all summer, but not enough to wake up my muscles. I have gained only 3 pounds since January, I'm proud of that. I just need a little tightening.

Comments

Glenn said…
Whilst what you say may be true, just remember how good you are at writing the visceral truth. It would pass thru any bullshit detector(as one who has waded in bullshit up to my knees I should know).
Cheers
Glenn
swan_pr said…
Glenn, thank you. This does mean a lot. Adds a little sense to the words. adds a little warmth to my heart.
Perrasite said…
"Boss, look! The pain! The pain!"

No pain, no gain?

Hey, t'es la meilleure pis arrête d'en douter !
Coyote inquiet said…
Smells like teen sprirt !?...
Coyote inquiet said…
spirit...
Chris said…
I hope that going to the gym makes you feel better. Exercise always makes my mind feel clearer.

FWIW, I think you are a phenomenal writer.
swan_pr said…
perrasite: c'est un bon mal là, c'est cool. merci beaucoup.

coyote: sprirt c'est plus drôle. mais ouais, quelque chose à voir avec l'âge sûrement. sale temps.
swan_pr said…
chris: true, a good workout works wonders on the mind. gives you perpective as well. as always, thank you, very much.
DAVE said…
SIDEBAR: Your comments fields always erase my data :(

I think that before swimming, one must learn to float, the let the water cradle you along for a little while. Just stick your nose out to breathe, open your eyes and look at the peacfull clouds going by as you listen to the water muffled noises, fish swimming under you... so calm :D